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1“Those private yachts, custom homes, and pieces of expensive jewelry that I flash around are all just a facade.”

2“That 5,000-square-foot beach house was bought with your hard-earned money.”

3“I pulled off a multimillion-dollar investment fraud a few years back and even served three years in prison for it.”

4“I hired some guy in China to bury all the bad stuff about me on the Internet so people like you couldn’t find it.”

5“I have to guarantee insanely exorbitant returns; otherwise, why would anyone invest with me?”

6“I made up that degree from Cambridge University, knowing full well that you would not be able to verify it.”

7“I like to surround myself with celebrities and people of high moral character, so other people (like you) think I have an ounce of respectability in me.” 

8“Our ‘independent’ accounting firm is really run by our CFO, who happens to be my brother-in-law.”

9“One of my ‘tricks’ is telling you things that you will never be able to verify, like my tale about that time I saved 17 schoolchildren from a burning building while I was backpacking through the rainforest in Africa.”

10“That work history on my resume? I just made all that up so you would think I really knew what I was doing.”

11“It’s amazing the kinds of documents you can forge with a little know-how and a few Photoshop skills.”

12“I’ve been fired twice from respectable financial advisory firms for bilking clients.”

13“I’ve been sued more times than I can remember…nobody has collected a dime. God bless our court system!”

14“I’m not licensed as a securities broker or registered as a financial advisor…but I do have a driver’s license!” 

15“My license plate reads: ‘Makin $$.’”

16“That well-dressed woman half my age you thought was my girlfriend? She’s actually an out-of-work actress I paid $150 to be my sidekick for the night.”

17“You know those ‘satisfied clients’ I have plastered all over my website? They’re just figments of my imagination.”

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2 replies
  1. Kelly Paxton
    Kelly Paxton says:

    Love this. As always you not only educate but entertain. You can’t make this stuff up unless of course you are a Ponzi schemer.

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